さて、GWも明けて皆さんボチボチ仕事しないとなー、みたいな気分かと。
私も今週はちょっとバタバタしそうです。
それで今日はGW中に札幌行った際に、札幌在住の友人たちと飲んだときの話なんですが、途中で話が逸れてしまいその補足をしておこうと思ったので書いておく。
さて、最近、よく友人たちに聞かれるのが；
「ホンコンさんってどうやって生きてるの？」
と言われます。それで私は；
「貯蓄崩しているだけだからそろそろやばいよね、もう一年半だし。」
と正直に答えてます。すると友人たちは；
「そういう風に見えないよね、なんかいつも余裕があるというか、いつも通りというか。」
なので私は；
「辛いけど（君らに）言ったところでなんか変わるの？金くれるの？」
すると友人たちは；
「いやー、それは・・・。」
と言う。別に私はそういう友人たちを卑下しているわけでも悪い奴だとも思わない。むしろいい奴らだと思う。たまにこういう話をすると説教する奴が出てくるのだが金も出さずに説教だけするのは「クズ人間」なので返り討ちにする。口を出すなら金を出す、金を出さないなら黙ってる、これは大人のマナーだ（※そうは言っても私のような奴がひょうひょうと生きているのを好まない人種は意外と多い。かといって特別な理由があるわけでもないらしいが）。
ただ、私と一緒にいる友人は超頭の回転早い人が多いのですぐに事情を察してくれる。
それで、私は何を軸に日々生きているか簡単にまとめてみた。札幌の皆さんには「あの話の続き」であり、それ以外の方たちには参考程度になればと思います。
まさに「HOSONISM」かもね。
－－－
●普通に生きたいという夢を捨てる、普通ではない自分を甘受し業を背負う。
もうねアラフォーなんだからサラリーマンは無理。社会の落伍者。なので結婚して家庭を築き、子供を二人くらい作って住宅ローンを35年で払うという「普通の人生」は諦めた。 今でもサラリーマンは良い商売だと思うし、憧れの職業だよ。ただ、どうも私の年齢とキャリアやキャラでは受け入れてもらえない＆既得権だけのサラリーマンの人と私の感性は相性が良くないらしい。一年かけて分かりましたので断念しました。
なので普通ではないので普通に仕事して普通に恋愛して普通に結婚して、子供作って家買って・・・、というなんでもないようなことは諦め、それを自分の業だと思い甘受するしかない。
●誰も助けてくれない、たとえ身内でも。
自分が困っているからと言って助けて貰おうとは思わないこと。誰かに期待しない、頼らない。ただし、自分が助けられる時は助ける。
貸しは作っても借りは作らない。
ただし、相手との距離を縮めるためにあえて「借りを作っておく」ことはする。
あと、嫁や恋人というのは「支え」にはなるけど「解決策」にはならない。これは「親兄弟」も一緒。血縁者だからといってこちらの事情や心境を理解していないと思うこと。
しかもこうした人たちは「余計な一言を言う」ことが多いのでストレスにしかならない。要するに人をいらつかせるが何ら解決策に結びつかない。下手すると不要な揉め事を起こしたり、手間を増やすことの方が多い。
なので「食わせる」とか「心配させない」というのがそういう人たちとの接し方であって間違っても答えを求めてはいけない。恋愛レベルの関係性ならまだマシだと思うが結婚となるとこういう事態が確実に起こるので結婚相手を決めるときは「ブサイクでも何の役に立たなくても良いから自分にとってストレスにならない相手」を選ぶこと。
所詮；
「最大の敵は愚かな味方」
なのだよ。
●孤独に耐えうるメンタルを持つ。
「自分は孤独だ・・・」などと嘆かない。そもそも「孤独」だと思うこと。よく「経営者は孤独だ」などと言うがあんなのチョロい。経営者である以上、部下がいたり取引先がいるので本質的な孤独とは違う。部下や取引先というのは自分の意思でコントロールできるし、そもそもそれが仕事だし、責任転嫁が得意な経営者なんぞゴロゴロいるべ。
一方、「個人の孤独」というのは実のところやり場が無いのだよ。すなわち身内ほどコントロールできないものはないし、前述したとおり支えにはなるが解決策にはならない。それに一時的にコントロールできても後々の火種になることは覚悟しておいた方が良い。
なので「孤独であること」を受け入れる。最終的に「自分で決める」と自分のルールとすれば良い。 誰がなんと言おうと最終判断は自分ですること。周囲の雑音は関係ない。
●常に「捨てる」ことを意識する。
「欲しい」ではなく「捨てる」ことを常に考えること。家にあるもので使わないものを捨てる。一ヶ月以上使っていないものは「不要な物」とし、捨てる。物を溜め込まない。本も読んだら売る。必要なところだけエクセルに箇条書きして記録すれば十分。一時期「自炊」が流行った。便利だと思うのだがあの機材一式はグループで買って使い回してもいいと思う。
↑こうしておけばOK。確かに最初は手間がかかるのだが見返すには抜群に効率が良い。先人たちの知恵が一目瞭然である。そして必ずDropboxなどのクラウドで保管すること。そうすればいざというときでもどこでも見れる。自分の行動指針になるし、生涯の財産だ。
それに洋服も必要最低限持っていればいい。不要な洋服もさっさと処分する。DVDなど保管したい物は一つずつケースに入れるのではなく、「72枚収納可能」とかいうDVDケースを買ってきてそれにまとめる。これだけでスペースも節約できるし検索性も飛躍的にアップする。
あと、時には友人も捨ててみる。
これも誤解を招くので補足するが悪意は無い。ただ、自分の精神的な状況と照らし合わせていつも同じ友達と会っていては自分に甘えが生まれるから。毒にも薬にもならないのなら一定の距離を置くのも良いし、その方がお互いのためになるかも知れない。
セックスと同じでいつも同じ相手だとパターン化してしまい、それはそれで十分満足するがたまには違う相手とセックスすると新たな発見があるのと同じ。
しかし、新たな相手と出会い、関係を持つのにはかなりパワーが必要である。
こうしていろんなものを捨てると身軽になるし、まだまだ身軽になれると感じることができるとおもしろくなる。すると前述したようなメンタルにもプラスの効果が生まれる。
今のご時世「身軽さ」は武器になる。
不要なものを抱え込まないと心も清らかでいられるし、ストレスも減る。この「清らかな心の状態」というのは何事にも代え難い。感覚が研ぎ澄まされる。
●人に「出会う」機会を作る。
人に出会う機会は積極的に作ること。これは立ち飲み屋で同席したオヤジでも良いし、友人から紹介してもらったその友人でも良い。合コンならばより積極的に行くべきだ。とにかく違う人と出会うのだ。いつもと違う人と出会うことで自分の引き出しも増えるし勉強にもなる。また、人と接するときに心がけているのは；
「いい人でいること」、「素直でいること」、「明るくユーモア持って接すること」、「礼儀」
この四つが基本。そしてもう一つは；
「IQよりも愛嬌」
なのだよ。すると向こうからやってくる。
●「生」に対する執着心を無くす。
最悪死んじゃえばいいじゃん♪、と思うこと。結局のところ「死なない前提」だから苦しむんだよ。だったら死んじゃえば良いんだよ。人生リセットもアリ。日本は10万人に対する自殺率が世界で5位なので別に恥ずかしいことじゃない。
そもそもこの先どうなるか分からない状況の中で戦々恐々としながら生きることが幸せだとは思わない。そこまでして生きる価値なんてどこにもないと思う。今が良ければそれで良しという考え方もあるが、そんなの10年も続かない。今の日本人はそれくらいのことみんな知っている。
「生きていればいいことあるさ。」
なんて言われても「いいこと」があっても一時的なものであって「幸せ」とは違う。今の日本に安住の地は無いのだよ。
ただ、「金が無い」というのは自殺の理由にはならんよ。ここ重要なので誤解しないように。今の日本は先行き不透明だが金が無くても死なない国なのだよ。借金踏み倒しても殺されることもないし、借金踏み倒して平然と生きてる連中もわんさかいる。昨年も殺人犯が二年近く逃亡して逮捕されたが顔を整形し、且つ所持金が100万円ほどあったというので金は何とかなるということ。
●大切なのは自己重要度と小さな目標
一方、金持ちが自殺しないかと言うとそういう訳でもないらしい。結局目標を失うと人は生きていく気力が無くなる。なので自己重要度を高めること、誰かの自己重要度を高めてあげること、そしてそのために小さな目標をたくさん持つこと。
自己重要度に関しては大きくは社会での役割、小さくは友人たちとの関係性、そうした大小のネットワークの中で自分がどういう立場にあるかを考え、自己重要度が満たされていなかったら満たされるよう努力をすること。自分は周囲から何を期待されているか考えること。ぼーっとしてても誰も助けてなんてくれない。
おかげさまで私の場合はまだ少しだけ誰かの役には立ち、期待されているようなので死なないで済んでいる。
また、小さな目標をたくさん持つことも大事。今さらフェラーリ買いたいなどとは思わないが、TOEICで900点取るとか、何か「自分の代表作を作る」とか。大きな夢を持つことは否定しないが大きな夢は破れたときのダメージが大きいし、「大きな夢」だと思った瞬間に萎縮するので誰が聞いても「アホか？」というものでも「小さな目標」と思うこと。
要するに小さな目標を自分の「課題」として日々管理すること。
●人生でやるべきことは全部エクセルにまとめる。
所詮人間の人生なんてエクセルのシートでまとまる程度ってこと。そんなもんだし、実にシンプルだ。実際にやってみるとすぐわかる。
「まずは課題を100個書き出す」と言ったところでそう簡単にできるもんじゃない。
それでとりあえず今の自分の課題をこうしてエクセルにまとめる。それで必ず「書いた日付」を書くこと。そして課題が完了したら日付と一緒に「解決済み」にステータスを変える。
ステータスは；
・新規：新たな目標や、やるべきこと
・保留：優先順位低いが一応記載
・関連Noにて継続：一定の成果は出たが引き続きフォローするもの。課題の質が変わっているので別なセルに記載してあるもの。
・解決済み：完了したもの
と四つほど決めている。さほど神経質に決める必要もないし厳密なものでもない。あくまでアバウトに。それでそれぞれのステータスごとに「色分け」をする。自分の進捗状況をビジュアルで即座に見ることができるし、色分けすることで達成感もある。たまに見返すと「ああ、そういえば」みたいなことが多々あるし、いや、やっぱこれは不要だな、という課題も出てくる。
この手法はシステム開発のプロジェクト管理に使われる管理手法だが、自分の人生だってプロジェクトだから方法は同じ。
ここに記載された課題がすべて完了した時は自分の人生が終わったことになる。それこそ生きていても意味はない。ただ、生きている限り増えるのでそう簡単には終わらない。
－－－
ザックリと書いたけどこんなところでしょうか。ここに全て書ききれる訳でもない。だからどうした？みたいな内容だけど心構えの一つとして参考になればと思います。
（過去の参考記事）
I'm still learning from you, as I'm improving myself. I absolutely love reading everything that is written on your site.Keep the stories coming. I liked it!
I loved as much as you'll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike.
Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thanks Nevertheless I'm experiencing situation with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting identical rss problem? Anybody who knows kindly respond. Thnkx
I and my friends appeared to be taking note of the good hints on your web blog and then at once I got an awful suspicion I had not expressed respect to the web blog owner for those secrets. These young boys ended up totally stimulated to read through them and have in effect definitely been making the most of those things. I appreciate you for being considerably kind and for opting for this kind of superior information millions of individuals are really needing to learn about. My very own honest apologies for not saying thanks to you earlier.
Very nice design and style and excellent written content, very little else we want :D.
I have observed that over the course of making a relationship with real estate managers, you'll be able to come to understand that, in every real estate contract, a payment is paid. In the end, FSBO sellers will not "save" the commission payment. Rather, they fight to earn the commission by doing a good agent's occupation. In completing this task, they shell out their money and also time to carry out, as best they are able to, the obligations of an broker. Those assignments include exposing the home through marketing, offering the home to willing buyers, developing a sense of buyer urgency in order to make prompt an offer, arranging home inspections, handling qualification inspections with the bank, supervising maintenance, and aiding the closing of the deal.
Yeah bookmaking this wasn't a high risk decision great post!
What i don't understood is actually how you're not really much more well-liked than you may be right now. You are very intelligent. You realize therefore significantly relating to this subject, produced me personally consider it from so many varied angles. Its like women and men aren't fascinated unless it’s one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. Always maintain it up!
Very interesting information!Perfect just what I was searching for!
Hey! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I'd figured I'd ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My web site discusses a lot from the same topics as yours and that i feel we could greatly benefit from just about every other. If you could possibly be interested feel free to send me an e-mail. I appearance forward to hearing from you! Terrific blog by the way!
Thanks for writing this. I actually sense as while I am aware a lot much more relating to this than I did in advance of. Your web site truly brought some factors to light that I in no way would have considered about prior to looking at it. You must go on this, Im convinced most people today would consent youve bought a present.
Gorgeous! Thanks for the pleasurable Seasonal ornaments!
I am not genuinely excellent with English but I line up this really easygoing to recognize .
certainly like your website however you have to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very troublesome to inform the truth then again I¡¦ll definitely come back again.
It's a shame you don't have a donate button! I'd without a doubt donate to this fantastic blog! I suppose for now i'll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group. Chat soon!
Hello! I'm at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the excellent work!
Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.
I would like to thank you for the efforts you've put in writing this site. I am hoping the same high-grade website post from you in the future also. In fact your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own blog going now. Really blogging is spreading its wings and growing fast. Your write up is a great example.
Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is excellent, let alone the content!
Greetings from Idaho! I'm bored at work so I decided to browse your website on my iphone during lunch break. I love the information you present here and can't wait to take a look when I get home. I'm surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my mobile .. I'm not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, excellent site!
Heya! I'm at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the fantastic work!
I reckon something really interesting about your website so I saved to bookmarks .
Thank you for this kind of a fantastic report. Its hard to find good quality articles any more, i'll also check out your social profiles and comply with or such as you. Can i inquire who you employ for website maintenance?
I am very happy to read this. This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the random misinformation that is at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best doc.
effectively, post a link or say to us the way to watch the clip. I tried but did not uncover anything at all on webpage. BTW- do you blame romney as he's cautious just after the flap for the cairo stuff earlier this week?
Good ¡V I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related information ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, website theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task..
I cling on to listening to the news update talk about getting free online grant applications so I have been looking around for the most excellent site to get one. Could you advise me please, where could i get some?
Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I'll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I'm thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I'm still new to the whole thing. Do you have any recommendations for newbie blog writers? I'd definitely appreciate it.|Woah! I'm really loving the template/theme of this blog. It's simple, yet effective. A lot of times it's challenging to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and visual appeal. I must say you've done a amazing job with this. Also, the blog loads very quick for me on Opera. Superb Blog!|Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your webpage? My blog is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would certainly benefit from a lot of the information you provide here. Please let me know if this ok with you. Appreciate it!|Hi there would you mind letting me know which hosting company you're working with? I've loaded your blog in 3 different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you suggest a good internet hosting provider at a fair price? Kudos, I appreciate it!|Very good site you have here but I was wondering if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics talked about in this article? I'd really love to be a part of group where I can get advice from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Kudos!|Hi there! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I really enjoy reading your blog posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same subjects? Thanks!|Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; many of us have developed some nice procedures and we are looking to trade solutions with others, please shoot me an email if interested.
This article is truly a fastidious one it assists new internet visitors, who are wishing in favor of blogging.
I do agree with all the concepts you have offered to your post. They are really convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are very quick for starters. May you please extend them a little from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.
The 2nd stage will come in the set up a spending budget. Even though you will be environment up your price range for home rental, you ought to incorporate other fees in your griffin holdings budget like you have to shell out utility charges for the rented property and probably to spend water charges also is dependent on the lease settlement with the landlord. If you are getting an apartment and unit in any gated neighborhood then you have to pay services charges for every thirty day period or for each annum other than rental expenses. If you are consulting with any company for residence rental then you must also consist of consultancy charges of that company. Also maintain some volume on the safe aspect as you would need it for packing and shifting of things from one place to an additional.
Have you ever considered creating an e-book or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog centered on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my visitors would enjoy your work. If you're even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.
Well I truly liked studying it. This tip provided by you is very practical for correct planning.
You in fact make it seem thus laid-back with your presentation nonetheless I find this topic to ensue truly a touch that I reflect I would by nix instrument appreciate. It kind of feels too complicated and very wide for me. I am delightful a look advance by your next make known, I'll appraise to get the cling of it!|
Dead pent written content , appreciate it for entropy.
The second step arrives in the established up a funds. Even though you will be environment up your spending budget for property rental, you really should include other costs in your dr. jaydeep biswas spending budget like you have to shell out utility charges for the rented residence and most likely to pay out h2o expenses also relies upon on the lease agreement with the landlord. If you are obtaining an apartment and device in any gated local community then you have to spend service charges for each month or for each annum other than rental fees. If you are consulting with any firm for property rental then you ought to also incorporate consultancy costs of that business. Also retain some quantity on the protected facet as you would demand it for packing and relocating of things from one area to an additional.
Hiya, I'm really glad I've found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossips and web and this is actually frustrating. A good website with interesting content, this is what I need. Thanks for keeping this website, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Cant find it.
Good info and straight to the point. I am not sure if this is really the best place to ask but do you guys have any thoughts on where to hire some professional writers? Thx :)
The second action comes in the established up a price range. Whilst you will be placing up your spending budget for house rental, you should consist of other charges in your jaydeep biswas funds like you have to pay utility payments for the rented property and most likely to spend h2o charges also is dependent upon the lease settlement with the landlord. If you are acquiring an apartment and unit in any gated local community then you have to pay out service fees per thirty day period or for each annum other than rental fees. If you are consulting with any business for property rental then you must also contain consultancy charges of that organization. Also retain some volume on the protected facet as you would demand it for packing and moving of items from one location to an additional.
Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog. An excellent read. I'll certainly be back.
I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I'm not very web savvy so I'm not 100% positive. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Appreciate it
Keep up the good piece of work, I read few posts on this site and I conceive that your blog is real interesting and has got circles of fantastic info .
Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I've truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!
Enjoyed looking through this, very good stuff, thankyou . "Love begets love, love knows no rules, this is the same for all." by Virgil.
It's hilarious that you should write this as I have been in the progress of looking for data on this discussion. Thanks for the input on the topic.
I'm really enjoying the theme/design of your weblog. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues? A number of my blog audience have complained about my website not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any ideas to help fix this issue?|I'm curious to find out what blog system you are utilizing? I'm experiencing some small security problems with my latest website and I would like to find something more safeguarded. Do you have any solutions?
I want to show my thanks to you for bailing me out of such a issue. Right after scouting through the the web and finding views that were not beneficial, I assumed my life was gone. Being alive devoid of the approaches to the difficulties you have fixed all through your good report is a serious case, and the ones which might have in a wrong way affected my career if I had not come across the website. That capability and kindness in controlling almost everything was important. I don't know what I would've done if I had not come upon such a point like this. It's possible to at this moment relish my future. Thanks for your time very much for the professional and effective guide. I will not hesitate to recommend your web sites to anybody who ought to have recommendations about this situation.
The very heart of your writing while appearing agreeable at first, did not really sit properly with me personally after some time. Somewhere within the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer unfortunately just for a while. I nevertheless have got a problem with your leaps in assumptions and one might do well to fill in all those breaks. In the event that you can accomplish that, I could undoubtedly be amazed.
An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
I just added this blog site to my feed reader, great stuff. Cannot get enough!