昔ほどではないのだが、時折友人を介して人を紹介してもらうことがある。
実際のところこれといった生業を持っていないし、そろそろ切羽詰まってきているので何かしらしないとならない状況ではある。今までよく生きてきたよな、と思うし、それについて思うこと、言いたいことは多々ある。敢えて言わないだけ。
そんなことより私のことを知らない人に会ったときにモゾモゾして「細野です♪」とだけ答えるのもおかしな話。私自身は誰にも迷惑かけてないし（今のところ）、私が何者であろうが今後も付き合うとか付き合わないとかということは自分で考えて判断してよ、と思っている。私には人様を騙すとか、利用してやろうというほどの知恵はない。
しかし、やはり礼儀というか「生業」なり「職業」を添えて挨拶するのが世界的に礼儀だろうという自覚はある。
それで私の場合「写真家」という肩書きでいいのかな、まぁ、そういうことなんだろうなと思っている。今のところ熱心に営業もしていないし、金にもなってないので「生業」とまではいかないが。
ただ、どうも「写真家」という肩書きに抵抗がある。
だってね、胡散臭さナンバーワンじゃん？
基本的に「○○家」というのは資格の要らない職業であることが多い（ex.政治家）。しかも写真家というのは「言った者勝ち」である。一方、概ね幼児猥褻などで捕まる犯人というのは「自称」写真家やカメラマンが多い。
今のご時世なら「キャバクラオーナー」とか「デリヘル経営」の方が世間ウケは良いし、銀行も不動産屋も相手にしてくれる。これが写真家となると・・・。
あと、写真家というとデーンと三脚を立てて白髪交じりのオヤジが顔をしかめて撮っているイメージだし、花だの山だの森だのを撮っているイメージ。私の場合はGRとは言え小さなカメラでフラフラ撮っているだけだ。それはそれで「本物の」写真家諸氏に失礼と言える。
また、カメラマンというのは長～い望遠レンズ付いたカメラでバシャバシャストロボ炊いて撮っているイメージ。肉食系というか、周囲を気にせず撮っている人たちに思う。私はどちらかというとコソコソ申し訳なさそうに撮っているのでちょっと違う。それに「カメラマン」と自称しようものなら「こいつはカメラに詳しい奴」と思われてしまい面倒だ。私はカメラのことなんて知らん。
写真撮る奴なんてさほど高尚な奴ではないというのが私の持論。なのでもっとカジュアルに「写真屋」というのはどうかとも思ったが世間での通りが悪い。
結果的に消去法でハゲたオヤジが写真撮っているので「写真家」が無難なのかなぁ、と思ったり。
四十路前にして白髪が生える余地すらない頭髪ゆえ、唯一「オヤジ」という部分だけが共通項である。
それにしても世間は肩書きでタグ付けして取捨選択したがるのは分かるんだけど、私としては誰が偉かろうが金持ってようが直接利害関係無いならどうでもいいんじゃないかと思っているある意味無礼者。もっと言ってしまえばその人間の本性なんぞは二つ、三つ言葉を交わせば分かる。ただ、初対面では相手も警戒しているのでそこをどう崩して本心を引き出すかが男としての技量である。ま、そんな話はいいや。
それならばいっそのこと私の肩書きは「ハゲ」でも良いと思っている。
これは「鉄板」だ。
名刺に「ハゲ」と書いたことはないのだが、新しく会った人に電話で「もしもし、先日○○で会ったハゲです。」と言うだけで一瞬沈黙が生まれるが100%「ああ！」と言って貰える。
100%って凄くない？
そもそもフサフサよりハゲハゲの方が少ないのでインパクチック理論的には最強である。
相手だって携帯に表示される名前を見ても一瞬「？」となるし、ましてや顔なんて思い出せない。だからこちらから「ハゲです♪」と言ってあげれば相手はマッハで思い出してくれる。
だからいっそのこと今度名刺作るときは「ハゲた写真家」とか「ハゲフォトグラファー」とかにしようか、と本気で考えている・・・、単に「ハゲ」でもいいかも。
ただ、世の中そういうユーモアの分かる人だけじゃないからな・・・。
でも、肩書きを「ハゲ」にしたら世間は私をどういうタグ付けするのか興味がある。
↑作ってはみたものの、どうもしっくり来なかった。格好良い肩書きなんぞは私には不向きということだ。
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